Two Young ladies on this bitter-sweet journey called L-I-F-E. Bound together by a great bond of inseparable friendship.
Saturday, June 27, 2009
Shattered but hopefully not Broken!
She got a very heart-breaking message, a message that changed all of her life. It was one of those messages that you ask the messengers 'are you sure you were told to deliver at this address?' it was all she wished for herself but at the same time it was not what she actually was ready for, you know when you think you want something but when it's time to recieve you just want to change your mind but you find out it's TOO LATE!. She sits down today asking.....God why? where did i go wrong? what next? where do i go from here?. She can't remeber what a smile looks like. Depression knows her by name, bitterness walks around the park with her hand-in-hand daily, confusion resides in the warmth of her heart, guilt sends a bouquet of flowers to her every morning unfailingly.
I sit down every minute of the day asking questions that almighty google has no answers whatsoever to. I find solace when i sleep without those midnight interuptions that wake me up the minute i happen to fall asleep after alot of conversations between myself and my heart. I try to laugh during the day in order to maintain a little sanity. I ask myself what words i should say to her? what does she want to hear? why did this happen? does she deserve it? Why does God always pick the best rose in the garden? What is the right thing to do? Alot of conflicts go through my head. It is one thing to prepare for a journey and another thing to actually embark on this journey. ARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGH!!!!! am i even making any sense? Madness has slowly started creeping into my heart, please bear with me!
Crying tears....tears of pain, guilt, pressure, confusion, insecurities amongst many others. I want to help, i want to be there, i want to be a source of happiness. I hate all of this. Like an ocean without it's waves, so is she without laughter. Everyone around is choosing selfishness over selflessness. Everyone is airing their views that do nothing but pile up more complications. Like broken pieces of fine china, her life has been scattered into fragments of fear, indecisivness and confusion. She is scared of life. She took the boldest steps ever that till next year i still lie to myself i would have done. She came face-to-face with the devil himself, she is not armed to fight this war, don't get me wrong but she chose to run her race and stand out, even if it meant she stood alone. I was impressed!
She needs to hear words of affirmation, words of encouragement, words that will restore the strength she deposited in her fight with Hell. She needs to know after the rain, the sun will shine. God did not bring her this far to let her go, she questions God, nature is no respecter of persons. I need to get myself together. What happened to LOVE? where did she go? does she not know that she is needed right now? So i was looking for a solution and stubbled upon this poem.:
After the Storm
The storms may come And limbs may break Yet others bend Beneath the weight-- Of heavy rain And windy breeze... A storm can mark The strongest trees.
Life sometimes deals With us this way; In unseen trials We meet each day. It's not how much our bodies break Or how much they may bend; It's our outlook in our own life That helps our spirits mend.
I REALLLLLLLLLLLLLLLYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY love her (no homo) just pure divine love. If she is not happy, best believe i do not have a smile on my face either. She needs to learn to Love again. Life is trying to frustrate her but she needs to look beyond it all and choose to be strong and happy. At the end of every tunnel, there is light abi? I need to make her stand infront of a mirror daily and confess:
~I CAN DO THIS~
~I AM ABLE~
~I AM BOLD AS A LION~
~STRENGTH IS MY AMOUR~
~THIS IS MY RACE AND YES I AM GOING TO RUN TILL THE FINISH LINE~
~FOR ME TO FAIL, GOD WILL HAVE TO FAIL, AND GOD NEVER FAILS, SO I CANNOT FAIL~
She has hit rock bottom and is at her lowest state in life, i don't think she will ever face anything with so much gravity as this and i am willing to stand at the finish line and cheer her because she has done well. In life, we all fall at a point, what determines victory is if we rise and YES she is going to rise. Darkness never lasts forever, though some nights seem like morning has forgotten its place.
My heart is heavy but i am strong. Defeat respects me because i will conquer it. All this will pass. If you are going through anything, have the assurance that it would not last too long She wishes for death to come and end this misfortune but is that the answer? She is scared of being strong, of waking up to happiness someday.
~~~~~~~~~~I will end this post by dropping a few encouragement quotes!
Fall seven times, stand up eight. ~Japanese Proverb
What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us. ~Ralph Waldo Emerson
I know God will not give me anything I can't handle. I just wish that He didn't trust me so much. ~Mother Teresa
The difficulties of life are intended to make us better, not bitter. ~Author Unknown
"Instead of giving myself reasons why I can't, I give myself reasons why I can." ~ Unknown
Am out people...i pray you have a happy filled week!...xxxxx