...mmmmm He had the brightest smile ever, He walked like he controlled the world with every footstep, I would forever remeber that trail of fragrance he dropped as he walked by, lets talk about the Magical African Swagg....this brother was fully endowed! Those lips that whispered breath-taking NOTHINGS! Magnificent.....Mr.I-would-be-there-Always! Just when i began to inhale him into my system.....I got infected. I invited him into my heart but he came with a couple of friends, (Lying & Cheating)
HE PROMISED ME FOREVER!!!!
I was the trusting to a fault girlfriend, believe me i trusted in every sense of the word. As worn-out as the phrase is about the kind of people that if they told you good morning, open ur curtains and look outside for yourself just to be sure. He believed he was the best thing that heaven dropped to earth after micro-waves! He dwelt on the opinion that the world revolved around him. Very controlling i must say, the kind of Beast that if you were engaged in any kind of argument and for some reason you were at fault, he would open his mouth to tell you "Shut-up" and you had dared not to open your mouth for the sanity of yourself. At the very same time he had a sweeeetttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttt tongue...asin if this boy was to convince you on something, you will zero out anything anybody wants to tell you and believe JUST his own story!
What happened to me? where did i fall off track? i used to be the kind of girl people classified as 'heartless' but if only they knew what i was facing, but i STILL DIDN'T LET GO! .... my self esteem used to be at its peak and i took no rubbish from any one prior to this great mistake in my life (did i just say mistake?....nope, it was a great learning experience for me and i loved every bit....AFTER I HOPPED OUT) lol. People used to ask me what was wrong with me? was i blinded or was it Jazz (Ju-Ju). I got alot of threatning calls from mysterious girls all along saying...'if by tomorrow i hear you are still dating ******* i will kill you' SHUOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! na me b dis? but as usual, his name always sounded so good because it was always in someones mouth, he always lied about girls being on his case like he was the only male creature on the face of the earth. I still held on...U go fear Juliet fighting for Romeo now!
I will live to remember a day i was asked by a good friend of mine if i was still dating this guy, and in my happiest state of mind that day, ofcourse i told her yes PROUDLY without even thinking about it, to my disappointment, she told me she had a conversation with him and he told her we broke up! (Chimmmoooooo) I really was a stupid and crazy somebody, even me sef when i sit down n think of that phase of my life i ask whether my brain was on strike. Who was he to deny me? I am Pricele$$, no girl on the surface of this earth that crosses his path will have my patience. I am not swearing o, it's just that Karma..........hmmmmmmmm....u know now! He was so sweet i must admit, maybe that's what obstructed my view of reality and left me sinking in an ocean of 'Love'.
He was going through so much in his life, so i permited some of his rubbish.I had this drive in me that i would be different from other girls he dated and i will Stand Out no matter what happend.I felt it was my responsibility to be there for him and offer a hand of friendship when life ran him over couple of times. It crushed my when he messed up but i got back on my feet and moved on. I will never forget the day when we were chatting around 2am one faithful day, me being generally open and laughing and having no secrets to reveal because he knew everything there was to know about me, when he went quiet for a while....ahn ahn! i thought to myself what happened to this chatter-box that never knew how to turn down his volume?....he went all of a sudden quiet! then he said he needed to tell me something.
Him: Baby!.....Please don't get angry withh me!
Him: I have been keeping this in my mind for soo mong but it's hunting me down because i know how honest you are to me.
Me: Okay, stop speaking parables to me and lay the matter on the table right now!
Him: Baby I am soo sorry, please forgive me, i did not mean to.....I know you will get angry but please don't be angry baby!
(HMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM....don't baby me oo...i Know what's comin)
Me: Can you please tok to me? its 2.30am and my eyes are getting shut!
Him: I............................had sex with her.
Me: hehehehheh......with WHO??
( I had warned him about some girl that was getting too close for comfort a while ago and as usual he said she was all up in his space and he was tryna resist her)
Me: (Boiling soooo hard, an egg would have been cooked in 5secs)...Goodnyt
(Signout of MSN)
He gave me the dumb excuse that he was drunk and the POOR GIRL climbed on him.
I lay soo cold in my bed that night:Questions.....
where did i go wrong?
was i over bearing?
was he taking advantage of me?
could it be a problem he had?...always wanting to sleep around.
should i break-up?
should i stay?
was this part of the plan?
I was warning him but he did not listen to me WHAT HAPPENED TO FOREVER??? So many things ran through my mind that night, i slept after a while. I did not speak to him for a few days for him to remember i had feelings aswell and i was not a door mat that u come and clean your legs on when u wanna waka outsyde. It was pain -FUll but i swallowed it after a while and took him back after a while. I thought to myself, This MUST be love. He was the happiest person (or so i thought) when i took him back...Only God knows the number i was on his queue of ladies...Bless my heart...sob** I was at a point where i could not even talk to my best friend because she already classified me as Stupid....100% ode sef! I did not listen to any one, i ran my relationship MY WAY! until ofcourse i hit rock-borrom! and trust me i hit it HARD! We made plans of out imaginable future together, how many kids, you being in your music/acting whatever industry while the runway was my playground....OOOOO dem days!....when you will send me love songs and i will sing them till my voice got all crusty! u use to call me your model!
But to God be The Glory!(Yuuulllzzzz, some naija film effects) You are not fooling me ANYMORE! asin kaiii! me sef i wonder what happend to me because like a veil was taken away from my eyes. I cant imagine how many people that tried talking to me felt when they were trying to wake me up(bless their hearts)special shout-out to *I dono how to insert links yet* but to www.iamshh.blogspot.com. i am sure if i was within reach, she would have slapped and knocked and shouved alot of sense into me. (U are much appreciated) What i honestly weep for right now is the poor girl you are with ....the same one you cheated on me with...she is hurt on a daily basis but she does not know the way out, because you LIE! but someday, she will see the light and RUN into it!. I learnt so much after that experience, it was a bitter-sweet time. And being the kind of person i am, i do not like to be warned though i will take note of what you say, i still like to take chances and see for myself, afterall your judgements may be wrong! in this case they were right but ofcourse i learnt my way!. But for now, my heart is on break till Jan,1 2010. :) So after that experience i never wanna hear the 'F' word for a longggggggggggggggggggggggggg minute! All prospective lovers, please coin out a new term as i would not be entertained with the 'F' word!
I am outtttt!!! P.S: Pray for my dear Caramel, she has shoppinlitis and there are no drugs that are working for her! Bloggatedly Yours! Chocolate!...xxxxxxxx (I tried to elongate my post today..)
The thing is... - i do not know how to not be this loud. how to sit back and laugh like my tongue is dipped in cherries and honey how to shut up and bite my tongue even when i...
5 weeks ago